Category: Misc

Phone message that I just left for Hubby:

“I have a pot pie. I have a scythe. Can you fix the timer on the blinking eyeballs?”

Boy participates in a Lego Robotics class after school on Wednesdays and REALLY loves it. Boy and Hubby sometimes work on little Robotics projects at home together. Hubby will tell you that he bought the Lego kit for Boy to have at home to work on projects for the class, but he is totally fibbing; he loves it as much as Boy does. Boy and Hubby made a special helicopter-y whirl-gig thingie recently and Boy was really looking forward to class today, because I told him that I would bring it when I picked him up, so he could show his classmates. Well, the teacher called in sick today and boy….was Boy bummed…

He was brooding (and being generally pouty and unpleasant), so I pulled out my sure-fire 10-year-old Boy cheerer-upper (fart jokes – duh!). So, I’m going on and on about “Farty McTootson” and Boy finally cracks a smile. I pounced: “Ooh – I caught you – I see you smiling – don’t you dare laugh!”. Determined-to-stay-sullen Boy’s response? “That wasn’t a smile, Mom, that was a grimace.”

In case any of you haven’t heard about this case, I would like to bring it to your attention and weigh in on some of the misconceptions and knee-jerk reactions that are traveling around the internet. I apologize, in advance, for the length of this post, but this issue has me FIRED UP.

Sophie Currier is a 33-year old student at Harvard Medical School (she has also studied at MIT and also already has a PhD) who is taking her medical board exams AS I TYPE THIS. Sophie has two children: an almost 2-year old son and a 4-month old daughter. She is currently nursing her young daughter (as is recommended by the American Medical Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics) and requested extra break time between sections of the exams to use a breast pump during the 8+ hours long exam. The National Board of Medical Examiners (the organization that does the testing) denied her request. They told her that she could only have the amount of time that is available in the existing testing schedule; an amount of time that is really only sufficient for eating and using the bathroom.

Sophie has a prestigious, but grueling residency waiting for her at Massachusetts General Hospital after she passes her board exams. Sophie intentionally planned to have her two children very close together so that she would not be pregnant during her residency, which, with the long hours and physical demands required, could be harmful to her and to her baby. To wait to have children until AFTER her residency would have put her in her late 30s, when she would be at greater risk of infertility problems or complications with the baby, not to mention the fact that it would be difficult for her to have children later, when her post-school career would just be beginning.

Complicating this issue, for some people, is the fact that Sophie has Attention Deficit Disorder dyslexia and has also received a testing accommodation (as legally allowed under the Americans with Disabilities Act) to take the test over a two-day period, rather than the usual one day. To me, this is a completely separate and irrelevant issue. That accommodation is mandated by law and is something that thousands of people have access to every day. To say that any one person is only allowed to have one condition requiring special accommodation is asinine. My dedicated sister-in-law is a special education teacher and works with many children that have multiple “conditions”, for example: learning differences AND a physical condition necessitating a wheelchair or a learning difference AND a visual impairment.

Sophie sued the NBME to be granted some extra break time and, initially lost, but then the judgment was voided on appeal and Sophie WAS, in the end, granted the right to begin the testing yesterday, without worrying about engorgement or premature weaning. In case my opinion on this matter isn’t already clear, let me address a few of the arguments that I’ve seen floating around:

Q: Why can’t she just pump milk ahead of time and have someone else use it to feed her baby that day? Why can’t she just have someone feed her daughter formula while she’s taking the test?

When you are nursing (as I know from personal experience), your body responds to the demands that are placed upon it: the more than your baby nurses (or the more that you pump), the more milk you will produce. If that milk is not pumped out (or nursed out by the baby), then your breasts will become engorged, hardened and VERY painful. A 4-month old child typically nurses every few hours, so to go without nursing for the 9-hour testing day would be excruciating and the inevitable leaking would be very distracting. It would also put her at risk for infection or having an interruption in her future milk supply. Yes, there are ways to work out the milk supply situation for the baby, that is not the issue; the issue is the discomfort that Sophie would feel during the testing if she could not relieve the need to release the milk.

Q: Won’t this extra time give her an advantage over the other candidates taking the exam?

The extra break time would NOT, in any way, constitute an unfair advantage, but would merely put her on an equal footing. She would be at a disadvantage if she had to put up with engorgement, pain, leaking, etc.. The breaks would occur between sections of the test, so she would not be able to look at the questions and then go think about them over a break. She would also not be allowed to change any of her previously-completed answers after a break.

Q: How have other breast-feeding candidates handled this exam?

There have been other women that have had to deal with this situation. Many of them have written letters of support to Sophie, describing the difficulties that they had in the testing procedure, that have been used to bolster her legal battle. Some of them said that the pain of engorgement was so great that it actually caused them to vomit. Can you imagine taking an important career-influencing exam under those conditions? Sophie is not the only women that has been impacted by this difficulty; she is just the first one to come forward and ask for accommodation.

Q: Isn’t there too much litigation going on in our country today? Couldn’t this have been handled without a lawsuit?

Yes, it would definitely have been preferably for the NBME to have given Sophie the accommodations that she needed without it being necessary for her to seek legal counsel. Her attorneys believed so strongly in her legal rights that they are working on her case free of charge.

Q: So how is this woman going to care for her children once she starts to work? Why doesn’t she just stay home and take care of her kids?

I wouldn’t presume to guess what Sophie’s future breastfeeding plans are, but her residency doesn’t start until November, when her daughter will be over 6 months old. She may choose to wean her daughter before that time; she may not. Many employers provide workplace accommodations for nursing mothers to pump and refrigerate their breast milk so that it may be carried home for future use. I don’t know whether or not Massachusetts General Hospital has these facilities or not. I hope so.

As for the suggestion that Sophie should delay the test for a year or give up her residency or even her whole career and be a stay-at-home mom: I’m really tired of the whole “us vs. them” mentality regarding working moms and stay-at-home moms and also regarding nursing moms vs. non-nursing moms, too, for that matter. Some moms work because they love their careers and feel driven to give something to society as a whole through their work (but also love their families and are able to be good moms at the same time); some moms work because they have to for economic reasons. Some moms breastfeed because they’ve heard it’s best and are able to do it; some moms try and try and just aren’t able to breastfeed (it happens, and it’s nobody’s fault), some moms choose not to breastfeed for personal reasons (or they’re just not comfortable with it, and that’s OK, too). I am glad that we live in a society where women can be moms AND have a career. I choose to be a stay-at-home mom, but I grew up with a working mom who managed career and kid admirably well. Everyone has to do what’s right for their own life. I wouldn’t want anyone telling me that I couldn’t have a career because I was a mom, just as I wouldn’t want anyone telling me that I couldn’t have children because I had a career. Just as importantly, I wouldn’t want anyone else forcing either of these opinions on my daughter when she is old enough to be pondering careers and children. Can you imagine anyone suggesting to a man that he give up his career (or delay it a year) because he has a child? Sorry, guys – I don’t want to make this a “men vs. women” thing, either, but making that point does illustrate the absurdity of the argument.

Q: How is she going to handle her responsibilities with her ADD and dyslexia?

Sophie has been able to make it through MIT undergrad and Harvard Medical School with only the same accommodations that are afforded any other students with ADD and dyslexia (there are lots of others). Just to be admitted into MIT and Harvard is an accomplishment that most people can only dream of. I, for one, have no concerns about her intelligence. I personally know three individuals that have ADD and they are among the most competent people that I know. There are medications and other things that can be done to help them focus on their tasks and they are all able to perform very successfully in their careers. Sophie is planning on becoming a research pathologist and is not planning to work face-to-face with patients, but, if she were, I would be the first to line up to be one of her patients. That being said, the fact that she has ADD and dyslexia still has NO bearing on the breastfeeding issue.

Q: What about other people that have special medical conditions, for example, someone with diabetes that needed to test their blood sugar level and/or administer insulin or someone that needed to empty a colostomy bag? Would they be given extra break time during the exam?

Those conditions (a colostomy, diabetes and other similar conditions) would fall under the protection of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the testing centers would be required to make the necessary accommodations, without legal action. Certain complication of pregnancy even fall under this category. For example: if a pregnant woman was having circulation problems (a common condition during pregnancy) and needed to get up every hour or so during the test and walk around, to prevent dangerous blood clots in her legs, she would have to be allowed to do so. Breastfeeding is not given this same protection under the law.

I realize that people have very strong opinions about this issue and not everyone will agree with me, but I did feel that I had to weigh in. There are so many people spouting off on other blogs and in discussion forums that clearly have no idea what breastfeeding entails. If you’d like to read more about this, here are some links to news stories and other opinions:
The Boston Globe

The New York Times

Lone Star Times blog

The Lactivist blog

Fox News

Girl’s school choir performed at morning chapel services earlier this week. She told us, beforehand, that she didn’t want us to come, but, of course, we went anyway (we did slink quietly into the balcony to watch, so as not to embarrass her with our, I don’t know….breathing). They sang beautifully, breathtakingly, inspiringly…most of the parents were in tears. Afterwards, Hubby and I melted into the crowd (we didn’t want to embarrass Miss “I-Don’t-Want-You-to-Come”) and were walking back to the car when we heard, “Mom! Dad!”. You guessed it: Miss “I-Don’t-Want-You-to-Come” had turned into Miss “Don’t-Leave-Without-Saying-Goodbye”. We told her how well she did and we got a nice goodbye (in front of her friends, even!) When they’re in Sixth Grade, you’ve got to take the lovin’ when it comes. You never know when it will come, but it’s awfully nice when it does.

Girl’s class at school had a bake sale today to raise money for Dollars for Darfur (please read up and consider contributing). Well, saying the words “bake sale” to me is like saying….well….let’s just put it this way, Internet….what’s your favorite thing to do when you have free time on your hands? Maybe you’re a football fiend? Maybe you love reading or jogging? You always look so well-accessorized, Internet, so maybe your love is shopping? Well, for me, it’s cooking and baking, so…..an excuse to do it for charity? That’s just letting loose the floodgates!

Bake Sale Booty (homemade baked goods and also some little Halloween candy containers that I had leftover from last year – filled with fresh candy, of course!):

A batch of my grandmother’s fudge:

A double batch of Pumpkin-Pecan muffins
(Krusteaz Pumpkin Bread mix from Costco, made into muffins, add about 1/2 cup chopped pecans per batch of mix, plus a sprinkle of cinnamon and cloves and a dash of McCormick’s Vanilla Butter & Nut extract and sprinkle coarse sanding sugar on top of the batter before baking):

A batch of my “Texas Trash” snack mix (I’ll post the recipe soon):

and a triple batch of Swedish Spice Cookies:

Boy and Girl were very helpful, with making the Swedish Spice cookies and packaging and labeling everything else. Ironically, Girl had a Dr’s appt today, so she couldn’t be there for the sale (Hubby dropped the food off at school for her), but I hope that it was a great success!

2 cups grated cheddar cheese (mild or sharp, your choice. I usually use the organic cheese, without artificial colors, so the finished product is very light in color)
3/4 cup mayonnaise (good quality, like Hellman’s)
one little sprinkle each:
dry mustard powder, paprika, sugar, salt and pepper
1/4 tsp. white vinegar
one small (2 oz) jar diced pimientos, drained
1 Tbsp. very finely minced white onion

Stir all ingredients together. Will keep for about 5 days in the fridge. Good on crackers or celery, as a sandwich. I came across a recipe recently for pimiento cheese rolls that I may try soon – sounded interesting, maybe for a brunch?

Inspired by the Dr. Suess book: Bartholomew and the Oobleck.
Boy and Girl have both done this activity in various classes over the years and loved it. I cleaned out my pantry over the weekend and discovered that I had an extra box of corn starch, so I let them have at it!

Clean Pantry:

Oobleck:
In a large bowl, gently mix 12 drops of food coloring and 1 cup of water. Carefully pour (don’t splash!) in one 16-oz box of corn starch and gradually add 3/4 cup more water, mixing from the bottom up with your (or your child’s) hands until the consistency is “gloopy”. Try quickly and gently pressing your fingers across the top surface – they won’t be able to go in, but if you push more firmly and slowly, they will – weird! This is great fun for kids, but be careful with the leftovers – do NOT put them down your pipes. We rinsed off the utensils and bowls (and hands) outside with the hose.

Obviously, Girl and Boy had fun with this stuff:

Boy was out of school today, so came with me to pick up my car, which was being serviced, and to turn in the loaner car. The shop where I take my car has a very nice customer service lounge (waiting area for suckers that didn’t remember to reserve a loaner) that has a large TV, drinks, snacks, free newspapers, etc. Boy has been to this place before and remembered where the room was, so he trotted off in that direction while I was turning in the loaner keys, paying for the work and waiting for the runner to retrieve my car. When they brought my car around, there was still no sign of Boy, so I went to the lounge to look for him. As soon as I turned the corner and entered the room, I saw two skull-and-crossbone-themed flip-flop clad feet dangling from the massage chair, vibrating away, in one corner. I looked up to see the owner of the feet happily munching away at a pack of Pringles and slurping on an ice-cold water bottle. I really wish that I had had my camera with me.

Hubby works for a great company. It’s always on Fortune Magazine’s list of the “100 Best Companies to Work For”. His co-workers are intelligent; he really admires and respects his boss, his working conditions are tailored to his own personal expectations. It’s a Win-Win, really. They also give lots of “pats on the back”, in the way of little unexpected gifts and awards. Over the years that Hubby has been with The Firm, he has received: three separate $500 “you choose your prize” awards, which we used to purchase a VERY nice tent, a Majorica peal necklace (Hubby didn’t see anything he wanted in the catalog, so I helped him out!) and a $500 Amex gift card that we put toward the purchase of a home theatre system, also a very nice Dean & Deluca holiday gourmet food selection, three separate gift boxes from Omaha steaks (the last one being a selection of chicken breasts, hamburgers and hot dogs, with a note explaining that the firm’s 4th of July holiday was being extended to allow more fun, family time – presumably grilling), and many more similar things that I can’t remember. Hubby also has a TON of useful household and wardrobe items emblazoned with The Firm’s name (T-shirts, picnic bags, laptop cases, leather legal pad folios, pens, gimme caps, coffee mugs, coozies, USB drives, keychains, etc. etc. ad infinitum). It really is a great company and Hubby is very happy working for them.

Are you sensing the “HOWEVER” coming?!?

This was the latest gift that Hubby received from the firm:

It’s a gift card (unspecified amount, but The Firm is usually very generous) to any of the Pappas Restaurants (may be regional, but there are lots in our area). Doesn’t it look festive? With all of that sparkly confetti? That glittery and very abundant confetti that makes an unbelievable mess if you open your mail, say…in the car?

I have, in the past, received party invitations that have had the same treatment. As I’m sweeping up the unexpected mess after unsuspectingly opening the envelope, I’m cursing the host’s name and trying to figure out how I’ll get even: “Oops – red wine on your carpet – gosh, that made a mess, didn’t it” I’m just kidding, of course, but please, with the holiday party season approaching: Folks, don’t be tempted to put little pumpkin-shaped confetti in your Halloween party invitations….just DON’T.

CASEY WAS ROBBED!!!!

And that is all that I have to say about THAT.